Grief & Loss


Introduction

Grief is the sorrow we feel when someone or something precious is taken from us. Loss can touch us through death, broken relationships, illness, or the shattering of hopes and expectations. The Bible never trivialises grief. Jesus Himself wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35), showing us that mourning is a natural and godly response to loss.

Richard Baxter wrote extensively about preparing for death and comforting the bereaved. He urged believers not to be ashamed of grief, but to carry it to God in prayer, to find comfort in His promises, and to remember that in Christ death is not the end but the doorway to everlasting life.


Scripture Focus

  • “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, KJV)


List of Relevant Scriptures

  • Psalm 30:5 – “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
  • Psalm 116:15 – Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
  • Isaiah 53:3–4 – Christ is a Man of Sorrows who carried our griefs.
  • Matthew 5:4 – Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
  • John 11:25–26 – “I am the resurrection, and the life.”
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:13–14 – We do not grieve as those without hope.
  • 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 – The God of all comfort comforts us in tribulation.
  • Revelation 21:4 – God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.


Overview of the Biblical Teaching on This Issue

Scripture affirms that grief is real and deep. Death entered the world through sin, and every loss is a reminder of the fall. Yet the gospel transforms grief by giving hope. We sorrow, but not as those without hope, because Christ has conquered death.

The Bible calls us to weep with those who weep, to comfort the mourning, and to wait for the day when all tears will be wiped away. Grief is not weakness but a place where God meets His people with tender mercies. Christ, who bore our griefs, walks with us in the valley of the shadow of death.


Pastoral Guidance

Drawing from Baxter’s counsel:

  • Allow sorrow its place: Baxter reminds us that it is not sinful to mourn. Even Christ wept. Suppressing grief can harden the heart, while godly sorrow softens it before the Lord.
  • Guard against excessive sorrow: He warns, however, that grief must not overwhelm to the point of despair. When mourning turns to murmuring against God, it becomes sinful.
  • Lift the eyes to eternity: Baxter exhorts the bereaved to comfort themselves in the hope of resurrection: “Live as those that believe that heaven will make amends for all.”¹
  • Use grief to loosen from the world: Loss, though painful, reminds us that all earthly comforts are passing. Baxter saw grief as a tutor teaching us to set our affections on things above.
  • Seek fellowship and consolation: The grieving should not walk alone. The church is called to share burdens and speak words of hope.
  • Pour grief out in prayer: Like the psalmists, we are invited to turn tears into prayers, trusting that God keeps them in His bottle (Psalm 56:8).


Further Reading

  • Richard Baxter, A Christian Directory, Part I, Ch. XIII (“Directions for the Afflicted and Bereaved”).
  • John Flavel, The Mystery of Providence (on God’s hand in trials).
  • Thomas Brooks, A Mute Christian under the Smarting Rod.
  • Samuel Rutherford, Letters (comfort for the grieving).
  • Modern: Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son (deeply personal Christian reflections).


Footnote

  1. Baxter, A Christian Directory, Part I, Ch. XIII.