Week 10: Setting Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
This week we learn that boundaries are not unkind, they are often a form of wisdom and stewardship. Trauma can make us either over-accommodating, fearful of displeasing others, or guarded and withdrawn. Scripture helps us walk a better path: guarding the heart with diligence, choosing relationships that strengthen faith, and setting limits with clarity and grace. You may take this slowly. There is no expectation to complete everything, and you are welcome to begin anywhere that feels safest.
Before you begin
If at any point you feel overwhelmed, it is entirely acceptable to pause, step away, or simply sit quietly with the Lord. Boundaries can feel frightening when we have been punished for having needs, or when we have learned to stay safe by keeping the peace. We can take one small step at a time, and ask for God’s wisdom as we go.
Scripture for this week
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?”
Slides: Setting Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
You may view the slides below at your own pace, and you are also welcome to download them for offline use.
Optional download: Download Week 10 slides
Audio teaching 10a, Introduction
You may listen alongside the slides or on its own. You are free to pause, return later, or stop whenever needed.
Audio teaching 10b, Going Deeper
This shorter session explores why boundaries can feel unsafe after trauma, how fear of man and false guilt can keep us overextended, and how Scripture helps us set limits with humility, steadiness, and love, without slipping into harshness or withdrawal.
Transcript (optional)
A written transcript is available for those who find reading more accessible than listening.
Read the transcript
Week 10 – Audio Track 1
Setting Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
Hello, and welcome to Week 10.
This week we are looking at boundaries and healthy relationships.
For many of us, trauma makes boundaries feel dangerous. We may have learned that saying “no” leads to punishment,
rejection, sulking, anger, or spiritual manipulation. Or we may have learned the opposite, that if we withdraw far enough,
we will never be hurt again. But the Lord calls us to a wiser path, neither collapsing into fear nor hardening into isolation.
Proverbs 4:23 says: “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
Guarding the heart is not the same as distrusting everyone. It means we take seriously what shapes us, what drains us,
what tempts us, and what pulls us away from faith, peace, and obedience. Boundaries are a form of stewardship. They help us
love others without being ruled by them, and they help us serve God without being quietly undone by unhealthy patterns.
We will also reflect on 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…”
This teaches discernment. Not every close partnership is wise, and not every relationship is safe for our growth.
We can be kind to all, but we do not have to be deeply bound to all.
This week, we will practise one gentle question when pressure rises:
“Is this request drawing me toward faithfulness, or pulling me away from it?”
And we will learn to respond with clarity and grace, trusting that God can hold us steady even if others dislike our limits.
Read the “Going Deeper” transcript
Week 10 – Audio Track 2
Going Deeper – Fear, Guilt, and Practising God-honouring Limits
In this session we look more closely at why boundaries can feel so threatening after trauma.
Sometimes what keeps us boundaryless is fear, fear of being disliked, fear of conflict, fear of being called selfish.
Sometimes it is guilt, a sense that we must continually prove our goodness, or continually rescue others in order to be safe.
Sometimes it is an old survival pattern: keep the peace at all costs, stay small, stay useful, stay quiet.
But Scripture calls us to a different kind of courage. Psalm 118:6 says:
“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?”
That does not mean people cannot hurt us. It means they are not ultimate. God is.
When we belong to the Lord, we are not at the mercy of every mood, every demand, every manipulation, or every expectation.
Daniel gives us a wise pattern. Daniel 1:8 says he “purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself.”
He held his boundary firmly, and he communicated it respectfully.
Boundaries do not need to be dramatic to be real. A calm, clear sentence can be enough.
This week, practise one small limit:
choose one area where you often feel pressured, decide your boundary in advance, and write one sentence you can use.
We are not trying to control outcomes, we are learning to obey God with steadiness, and to let Him manage the rest.
Reflection (optional)
These are not tasks to complete, only invitations to notice.
- What areas of my life need stronger boundaries?
- Are there relationships that are negatively impacting my walk with Christ?
- How can I set and maintain God-honouring boundaries?
- When I try to set a boundary, what am I most afraid will happen?
Practical tools (optional)
If helpful, choose one gentle practice for the week. We are not aiming for perfection, only steady return to wisdom and truth.
- Boundary sentence: Write one simple sentence you can reuse (for example, “I’m not able to do that”, “I need time to pray and think”, or “That doesn’t work for me, but I can offer…”).
- Heart check: When you feel pressured, pause and ask, “What is happening in my heart right now, fear, guilt, pride, compassion, or wisdom?” Then bring that to the Lord.
- Relationship audit: Choose one relationship and gently notice: does it produce peace, growth, and honesty, or confusion, fear, and strain?
- Daniel pattern: Decide your boundary privately first (Daniel “purposed in his heart”), then communicate it calmly, without over-explaining.
Course booklet: Week 10 (written companion)
The following pages come from the original course booklet and are provided as a written companion to this week’s teaching.
Optional download: Download Week 10 booklet pages
Facilitator notes (for those leading others)
These notes are intended for those who may be using this material to support others in a group or pastoral setting. Individual participants are very welcome to skip this section.
Questions and support
If a question arises as you work through this week, you are welcome to ask it.
Please note: this is a teaching resource, not an emergency service. If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, please contact local emergency services.
Closing encouragement
As we finish this week, remember that boundaries are often one of the ways God keeps us steady. We can love sincerely without saying yes to what is unwise, unsafe, or ungodly. Like Daniel, we can purpose in our hearts to remain faithful, and we can speak with calm clarity, trusting the Lord with the outcome. When we feel afraid of man, we may return to this: “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.” God is able to keep us, and He will not turn us away.
