Biblical Love 1

Caroline Kent • December 3, 2024

Love as the Foundation

Expounding 1 Corinthians 13:4 – Love as the Foundation of Struggling Marriages


1 Corinthians 13:4 states, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up” (KJV). This verse provides a rich, multi-faceted description of love that is applicable not only to all relationships but especially to marriage, where love is tested in daily living. Let us break down each term and apply it to the context of a struggling marriage.


Key Terms and Expounding Their Meaning

"Charity suffereth long" (Patience):

  • Definition: This term speaks to enduring challenges without retaliation, maintaining composure in the face of provocation or difficulty.
  • Biblical Insight: Patience reflects God’s character, as He is “longsuffering toward us” (2 Peter 3:9 KJV).

Application in Marriage:

  • In conflict, patience restrains hasty words or actions, allowing for reconciliation rather than escalation.
  • Couples can practise patience by pausing during disagreements, praying for self-control, and listening to each other with an open heart.
  • Example: A wife frustrated by her husband’s forgetfulness might hold back criticism, choosing instead to gently remind him and pray for strength to overlook minor offenses.
  • Puritan Wisdom: Thomas Watson writes, “A meek spirit is a forgiving spirit; it will not be provoked” (The Beatitudes).

"And is kind" (Kindness):

  • Definition: Kindness involves active goodwill, generosity, and a tender-hearted approach.
  • Biblical Insight: God exemplifies kindness in His mercy and provision for all people (Luke 6:35).

Application in Marriage:

  • In the midst of hurt or anger, kindness seeks to heal rather than hurt, offering soft words and actions that build rather than break.
  • Example: A husband might choose to surprise his wife with a small, thoughtful gesture, even after a heated argument, to express his commitment to their relationship.
  • Reflective Question: How can you demonstrate unexpected kindness to your spouse this week?

"Charity envieth not" (Freedom from Envy):

  • Definition: Love is not jealous or resentful of another's advantages or achievements.
  • Biblical Insight: Envy led to Cain’s downfall (Genesis 4:5-7), but love rejoices in the blessings of others.

Application in Marriage:

  • Couples must celebrate each other’s strengths rather than feeling threatened by them. For example, if one spouse excels at work or parenting, the other should offer encouragement rather than harbour envy.
  • Example: A wife might genuinely praise her husband for a career milestone instead of feeling overshadowed by his success.
  • Puritan Perspective: Richard Sibbes emphasised the joy of mutual edification, stating, “Love’s happiness lies in the welfare of others” (The Bruised Reed).

"Vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up" (Humility):

  • Definition: Love does not boast or inflate itself with pride. It is modest and humble.
  • Biblical Insight: Christ’s humility in washing the disciples’ feet (John 13:5) demonstrates love’s willingness to serve.

Application in Marriage:

  • Humility enables couples to admit faults, seek forgiveness, and prioritise their partner’s needs over their own desires.
  • Example: A husband might say, “I was wrong to dismiss your feelings,” recognising his fault and seeking to restore unity.
  • Interactive Question: How often do you apologise to your spouse when you’ve been wrong?


Practical Applications for Struggling Marriages

  1. Journaling Prompt: Reflect on each aspect of love (patience, kindness, freedom from envy, humility). Identify where you might struggle in your marriage and write a prayer asking for God’s help to grow in that area.
  2. Scripture Meditation: Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 aloud together as a couple daily for a week. Ask, “How can we apply these truths today?”
  3. Challenge: Each spouse commits to one act of unexpected kindness this week. Afterwards, share how this impacted your relationship.


Encouragement for the Journey

As William Gurnall reminds us, “Nothing is stronger than love; it conquers all.” A marriage rooted in biblical love can withstand trials, but it requires effort, humility, and reliance on God’s grace. When you are tempted to give up, remember that Christ’s love empowers and sustains us, even in the hardest moments.

“Love never faileth” (1 Corinthians 13:8 KJV)—let this be the foundation of your hope in restoring and strengthening your marriage.

By Caroline Kent February 21, 2025
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By Caroline Kent February 20, 2025
This psalm not only models the journey from despair to trust but offers a divine pattern for how we, as pilgrims in this vale of tears, can navigate the storms of the soul in a God-honouring and healing way. 1. Honest Expression of Distress (Verses 1-2) David’s raw cry—“How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?” (Psalm 13:1 KJV)—invites us to the sacred practice of lament. This is no small thing. Lament is faith wrestling with suffering. It is the cry of a soul that still believes, even when it feels abandoned. Biblical Parallels: Job’s Lament: “Even to day is my complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning” (Job 23:2 KJV). Job voiced his anguish, yet his suffering ultimately revealed God’s sovereign wisdom. Jeremiah’s Complaint: “Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed?” (Jeremiah 15:18 KJV). Jeremiah’s faithful cries amid rejection remind us that lament is not weakness but communion. Christ on the Cross: Our Lord Himself cried out in desolation: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 KJV). Christ, the Man of Sorrows, walked the ultimate path of forsakenness so that we never would. Puritan Wisdom: Thomas Watson reminds us, “The way to heaven is by Weeping-cross. Christ's cross is the sweetest burden that ever I bore; it is such a burden as wings are to a bird, or sails to a ship, to carry me forward to my harbour” (Watson, 1893). Lament is not a sign of spiritual failure; it is often the mark of a believer straining toward home. Counselling Reflection: We must teach our souls, and those we counsel, that we are permitted—even invited—to bring our most broken cries before the Lord. The altar of grace welcomes tears. Journal Prompt: “What am I truly feeling before the Lord? Have I dared to bring it to Him in honesty?” 2. Capturing the Nature of Inner Turmoil (Verses 2-4) David reveals his internal wrestling: “How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?” (Psalm 13:2 KJV). This depicts the mental toil we often endure—turning over our fears, seeking answers within ourselves, yet finding none. Biblical Parallels: Asaph’s Inner Struggle: “I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed” (Psalm 77:3 KJV). Asaph’s heart churned within him until he turned to the “years of the right hand of the most High” (Psalm 77:10 KJV). Elijah’s Despair: Under the juniper tree, Elijah cried, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life” (1 Kings 19:4 KJV). His exhaustion mirrored our own when we lean on our strength. Puritan Wisdom: Richard Baxter wisely observed, “Melancholy is not cured by arguments as much as by diverting thoughts, cheerful company, just labour, and hearty prayers” (Baxter, 1825). Left to ourselves, our minds often spiral downward. The remedy is to lift our gaze heavenward. Counselling Application: Guide the anxious heart away from self-reliance to God-reliance. We are not called to be self-sufficient; we are called to trust. Practical Task: When the “counsel of your soul” is troubling you, pause and pray aloud the promises of God. 3. Turning to God in Supplication (Verses 3-4) David turns his attention to the Lord: “Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death” (Psalm 13:3 KJV). Here, faith stirs. David, though weak, reaches toward God for help. Supplication shifts the gaze from the storm to the Captain of the ship. Biblical Parallels: Hezekiah’s Prayer: Facing death, Hezekiah turned to the wall and prayed (Isaiah 38:2 KJV). His prayer prolonged his life and strengthened his heart. Hannah’s Petition: In her distress, Hannah “poured out my soul before the Lord” (1 Samuel 1:15 KJV). God heard and answered, granting Samuel. Puritan Wisdom: William Gurnall exhorts, “The Christian’s prayer-book is his armory. There he doth sharpen his weapons and find new artillery, which he fetches down from heaven” (Gurnall, 1864). Prayer is the pivot where anxiety yields to hope. Counselling Practice: Teach the anxious to pray through their fears. Use the psalms as a script for prayer. Even when words fail, Scripture can speak for us. Prayer Exercise: Begin with Psalm 13; make its words your own. 4. Reframing with Gospel Truth (Verses 5-6) “But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation” (Psalm 13:5 KJV). This is the climax. David’s circumstances have not changed—but his perspective has. Biblical Parallels: Habakkuk’s Rejoicing: “Although the fig tree shall not blossom… yet I will rejoice in the Lord” (Habakkuk 3:17-18 KJV). Faith transcends circumstances. Paul’s Contentment: “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11 KJV). Contentment is rooted in Christ, not in ease. Puritan Wisdom: Jeremiah Burroughs calls this “the rare jewel of Christian contentment,” stating, “A Christian comes to contentment, not so much by way of addition, as by way of subtraction—by subtracting from his desires, rather than adding to his circumstances” (Burroughs, 1651). Counselling Practice: Help others recount the mercies of God. Gratitude reframes our fears and roots us in divine faithfulness. Gratitude Exercise: Record daily mercies. Revisit them in times of doubt. 5. Trusting the Captain in the Trenches David concludes, “I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me” (Psalm 13:6 KJV). Trust births praise. We see this echoed in Paul and Silas singing in prison (Acts 16:25 KJV). Final Puritan Encouragement: John Flavel comforts us, “Providence is like a Hebrew word—it can only be read backwards” (Flavel, 1678). Often, it is only in hindsight that we see the Lord’s hand. Christ Our Captain: William Gurnall exhorts us, “Thou hast a Captain who never lost a battle, and therefore thou needest not fear to lose the day in His company. March on, Christian!” (Gurnall, 1665). We follow a Captain who bore our griefs and carried our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4 KJV). His cross is the anchor in every storm. Final Application for the Weary Soul Psalm 13 is not merely poetry; it is a battle plan: Pour out your lament before God. Recognise the turmoil within but refuse to dwell there. Turn to the Lord in supplication. Recall the mercies of Christ and trust in His salvation. Sing—though your voice may tremble—for He has dealt bountifully with you. Reflection and Prayer Exercise: Write your own psalm today. Follow the pattern of Psalm 13: Cry out your pain. Name your fears. Ask God for help. Declare His faithfulness. End with praise. Let this pattern become a well-worn path for your soul, leading you ever deeper into the arms of Christ.  References: Burroughs, J. (1651). The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. Flavel, J. (1678). The Mystery of Providence. Gurnall, W. (1665). The Christian in Complete Armour. Sibbes, R. (2005). The Bruised Reed. Watson, T. (1893). The Art of Divine Contentment. Baxter, R. (1825). The Practical Works of Richard Baxter.
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